Here's our list of top Christmas Cracker jokes - The Leamington Observer

Here's our list of top Christmas Cracker jokes

Leamington Editorial 18th Oct, 2023 Updated: 26th Oct, 2023   0

You may groan, but we know you secretly love them… Christmas just wouldn’t be Christmas without terrible Christmas cracker jokes.

Here are some of our favourites…

What do you call an old snowman? Water

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy

What do elves do after school? Their gnome work!

What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight? One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh

Why are Christmas trees bad knitters? They keep losing their needles

Why was the turkey in the pop group? Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

What do Santa’s little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party? He had no body to go with

Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer

What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days

What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps

Got a Christmas card full of rice today, I think it was from my Uncle Ben.

Two snowmen were standing in a field. One said, “Can you smell carrots?”

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas Eve”

What does Santa do with fat elves? He sends them to an Elf Farm

What’s a dog’s favourite carol? Bark, the herald angels sing

What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes

What does Father Christmas do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack

What do you give a dog for Christmas? A mobile bone

How do snowmen get around? By riding an ‘icicle

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy

What is the best Christmas present? A broken drum, you can’t beat it!

Why did Santa have to go to the hospital? Because of his poor elf

How does Darth Vader enjoy his Christmas Turkey? On the dark side!

Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitis

What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells

Who do Santa’s helpers call when they’re ill? The National Elf Service

What is white and minty? A polo bear!

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